Someway Somehow
by Whovian overload River Song
Summary: Prompt: River and the Doctor are at some planet and they don't realize it's a fertility festival and River ends up pregnant very quickly going through the stages.


"It's very pink," River frowned, looking at all of the many, many huge tents surrounding them. They looked more like circus tents than camping tents.

They were on a large planet, one River had heard about some number of weeks ago. The population of inhabitants on the planet, however, was only about nine million; Even having reached advanced milestones such as space travel, the Kwerbian people had yet to reach a stable number in population size.

This was how River had heard about the planet in the first place. Every rotation of Kwerbio's third moon-which was around every two months Earth time- there was a very big, very _adult_ party, in the sense that it was was not appropriate young eyes; A rampage devoted to sensual enjoyment of the physical variety. The Kwerbians would claim it was to aid the population growth, but no one could deny the kind of crowd the festival attracted- River being one of _that_ crowd. River had found the article, read the words "orgy tent" and not bothered reading the rest of it, off to find a version of the Doctor mature enough to attend with her.

The Doctor wasn't actually sure how she'd convinced him to come to this, yet here he was. "Pink is the color of love, isn't. it?" He tugged at his bowtie.

"No, pink is the color of your face right now," River teased, " _red_ would be a color more suited for this."

"Maybe we should come back in a year when they have the suitable color."

River snorted, then smirked. "Don't think you're getting out of this. I'm not leaving until I get what I came for."

"...Hot steamy sex in a room full of other people also having hot steamy sex?" he guessed.

"Bingo."

"Yeah…," he started, "I'm just... not so sure about the ' _other people_ ' thing."

"Self-conscious, are we?"

"No, just not particularly wanting to see anyone naked," he replied.

"Is that your thinking when having sex with me?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No," he quickly amended, "That's different."

"Different how?"

"Well, I actually _like_ you, for one."

She chuckled a kissed his nose. "I quite like you, too, sweetie. And I'm not that demanding to make you fuck me in front of dozens of other people. You coming here with me was enough of a push out of your comfort zone. I've booked us a private tent."

He looked more delighted at that, though paused. "Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Because you're _oh so_ cute when you're flustered. And I brought the handcuffs by the way."

He flushed redder, grumbling about her being a big tease. She only smiled and took his hand to lead him through the crowd of... interesting characters.

They dodged around snack booths, informational booths, people entering and exiting large tents, and even around people who had been too impatient to wait for a tent to start the party. The Doctor averted his eyes at that. River let her eyes linger.

Their small, round tent was near the heart of the festival, a small walk from the food courts.

"Now this is what I meant by the color," River hummed when they were inside. There were red lit candles around the bed in the middle of the room creating a perfect mood. There was also a small table with a pamphlet guide to the events of the day.

The Doctor picked up the pamphlet. "Ooh, they have a big feast in a few hours!"

River plucked the paper from his hands, discarding it on the floor. "Not the kind of words I want to be hearing out of your mouth right now."

He pouted at the pamphlet, but his eyes were quickly drawn to her as she started removing her coat. He hadn't questioned her choice of a trench coat before, but once she revealed the very lacy, _very sexy_ lingerie beneath it, he understood her choice. It was a simple red bra, knickers, and stockings, but it very much did the trick.

"Would you rather me to talking about your choice of wardrobe?"

She closed the distance between them. "You know, I can think of much better uses for your mouth right now."

-x-

"Oh, fuck, _yes_! There!"

It wasn't a phrase the Doctor was unused to, certainly not when it came to his wife and the bed. It wasn't nearly the most obscene thing to come out of her mouth in the past hour, but it was one of the loudest. He was sure the next tent over could hear her, but then again, they could very clearly hear the next tent over, so it was only fair.

River's hands were cuffed above her head and clinging desperately to the bars of the headboard. The fabric of her most of her outfit had been stripped off her, but the stockings which still remained felt rather tight against her heated skin-not that that was the feeling River was paying attention to. She was much more focused on what the Doctor was doing with his hips.

The bed creaked with every thrust the Doctor made. "Hot and steamy enough for you?"

She was only able to nod and moan in pleasure, the sound shivering through her husband.

"We could've done this at home you know," he observed.

"What would be the fun on that?" she panted.

"Well for one-"

"Hush," she interrupted, "Less talk more- Aah! Yes, more _that_!"

He obliged, pushing deeper into his wife. He knew she was close. He started thinking of a finale he could do to push them both over the edge.

Suddenly, a gas started spraying out into their tent. There was no material floor, just the grass and dirt of the ground, which apparently had small pipes running beneath it. "What's that?" the Doctor asked, stilling his movements.

It was colorless, and though River wouldn't see it due to the blindfold she smiled at the smell. "Pheromones, I think." She gladly took deep breaths of the stuff.

"Yes, you're probably right, but I smell something else."

"Don't care," River said breathlessly. Her already skyrocketed arousal was growing even more, as was the Doctors.

"Oh my…," the Doctor murmured. He could feel the gas affecting his body in ways he was almost sure weren't supposed to result from just pheromones. His length within River not only grew even harder but started swelling in size. He was positive that had never happened before.

It didn't feel painful, rather good in fact. River certainly thought so, as she started moaning again. " _Move_ , sweetie. _Now_." She wiggled her hips.

He nodded, resuming his previous, fast pace. This was certainly the finale he was looking for. Both of their sensitivity levels had risen significantly from the gas, making it quite easy to catapult them both to a climax.

River shouted through her bliss, tightening and clenching around him, arching off the bed as her body convulsed. The Doctor's own climax had him gripping River's hips hard enough to bruise as he spilled into her.

He collapsed on top of her, both of them trying to catch their breath. The air was thick with the smell of sex and the gas.

It was a long while before the Doctor pulled out and started unlocking River's cuffs. "Satisfied?"

"Very much so. I really needed that," River purred, taking off her blindfold.

"Glad to be of service."

"You know, maybe we should get some of that gas for our own bedroom. It worked wonders."

"Yeah," he blushed, "But I still think I smelled something else in that."

"Well, each company probably has their own special blend. Maybe the pamphlet has the ingredients," River pointed out.

The Doctor rose to find the previously discarded pamphlet, sitting back down on the bed. "Let's see here… Yes, yup, check, check-... oh dear," he paled.

"What?" River frowned.

"Er, I think I found out the other thing I was smelling."

"What is it?" she demanded.

"A... fertility drug. More specifically a hormone that causes instantaneous fertilization… and rapid gestation."

Her eyes grew as wide as saucers. "You've got to be joking."

He twiddled his thumbs. "No… I believe I just got you pregnant."

She grabbed the paper from him in disbelief, standing and pacing as she read over it for herself. Fluids from both of them were still running down her legs, but she really didn't care at the moment. ""Exponential growth rate"?!" she exclaimed, "Nonono, no this isn't happening."

"Maybe you should take a breath and calm down," he tried to soothe.

"Calm down? _Calm down?!_ " She threw the paper on the ground again. "This was supposed to be a screw fest, not some bleeding fertility festival!"

He dodged around her to get another look at the pamphlet. "Usakweibo."

"What?" She stared at him, her tone harsher than she meant it.

"It's the name of the festival."

"It translates to "lovemaking" or something, doesn't it?"

"Actually, it translates closer to "baby making"," he revised.

She sat down on the bed again, head in her hands and shoulders slumped. "How could I be so stupid?"

He watched her deflate and sat next to her in an attempt of comfort. "River, you're not stupid."

"Maybe it didn't work… Maybe, it's wrong." She was in denial now.

The Doctor silently retrieved his sonic screwdriver and scanned his wife. He shook his head. "Not wrong."

"Bloody hell, Doctor, there's a baby inside me."

"Well, a mass of growing cells at the moment. Not really a _baby_ baby, but-"

"It sodding will be in a few hours," she huffed. She wanted to blame him for this. She _really_ wanted to blame him, but logically, she knew it was mostly her own fault. She'd had all the information about this place but she'd been so focused on getting a good shag that she hadn't pieced it together. "This is _not_ what I signed up for."

"Think of it as a bonus." The Doctor tried to cheer her up.

"A whining, screaming, dependent-completely-on-us-for-everything bonus," she glared, "Whee."

"Okay, maybe it's not _exactly_ what you had in mind, but try to look on the bright side, yeah?"

"Which side is that? The part where we get to be thrown into trying to raise a child with back-to-front lives or that part where I get to push an infant Gallifreyan out of my body without painkillers because last I checked, I didn't see and booths around here offering epidurals."

"I meant the part where you and I get to be parents," he whispered.

She stared at him. "You _want_ this?"

He shrugged, "Is really that bad a thing to happen?"

She was quiet for a long moment. "You don't sound like you've given it a lot of thought."

"It's kids Riv. What thought does it need? They're small and brilliant and this one will be ours."

She scoffed, "What about the part where we never meet in the right order?" The fact that neither of us are fit parents? Or maybe the present horror that instead of having nine months to think about this we get a mere few hours?!" Her voice was raising with her worry.

He was trying to pick which part of her concerns to address, realizing she was right to have so many. "Who says we're not fit parents?"

"We're mass murderers. I've got a bloody life sentence in Stormcage"

He frowned, "That's quite a label."

"It's true. You've destroyed planets, races... And God knows my own kill count isn't far behind yours."

"Okay, so we've done some harm. Neither of us would hurt our _child_ ," he pointed out.

"Well, no but-"

"No buts. You can't claim we're unfit because we have pasts that aren't perfect. Everyone has a past and you'd be orphaning planet fulls of kids if you judged every parent by their past."

"Not every parent is on half the Universe's wanted list." She glared.

"That says nothing about your own ability to parent a child."

She shook her head. "I'm going to be sick." She threw her trench coat on and ran out of the tent. The Doctor didn't follow.

-x-

He found her a little while later outside of the food courts where the tents ended and the trees started. He'd been asking around for anyone who'd seen her. _Big coat, big hair, humanoid. Hard to miss._ He'd been pointed towards the woods.

She was sat down behind a few bushes and leaning against a tree with her knees tucked up to her chest as much as her growing middle would allow.

It'd only been an hour or two, but there was a noticeable swell to her abdomen (and chest). The Doctor had noticed it on the other females when he was searching, for his wife; they were all noticeably pregnant.

He went to River's side, sitting down next to her. She made no acknowledgment of him. "So," he started, trying to act like things were alright, "is it my turn to hide and yours to seek?"

She glared, though didn't move her eyes from where they were. She was spying through the bushes, able to watch the other people walking around. Most were going to the food court due to their newly increased appetites.

River's sight lingered in the direction of the food, which did not go unnoticed by her husband. "Hungry?"

"No," she said flatly, but her stomach growled just a moment later.

"You _are_ hungry," he murmured.

She finally looked at him, itching with annoyance at his ability to take all of this in his stride. "So?" she hissed.

He sighed, " _So_ you're growing a person and the laws of conservation of matter mean that you're going to have to consume more matter or have the matter in you consumed."

"So what if I do? Maybe it'll get rid of it."

He tried not to flinch at that. "Gallifreyan pregnancies don't work like that. Miscarrying isn't really… a thing. You're just going to end up hurting yourself."

She deflated, looking down at her ever rounding middle. "Well, I'm not planning on moving."

"Why not, dear?" he tried in a gentle tone.

She hesitated, "I… I don't want anyone to see me like this."

He frowned, though didn't question her feelings, standing up to leave. Her eyes widened and she grabbed his arm. "Don't leave me."

He put his hand over hers, loosening his arm from her grip. "I'm just going to get you some food."

She quietly took her hand back to herself and gave a small nod. He gave an assuring smile and went over to the food court.

River looked paler when the Doctor returned, practically inhaling the large amount of food he brought back. He took a few things for himself but left the majority of it for her. All of the food was designed for those undergoing the pregnancies, which meant it was calorie dense and full of absolutely every nutrient and compound necessary for building another person.

River finished it all in twenty minutes, looking a little less grumpy and a little more distracted as she leaned back against the tree.

The Doctor was still slowly working through his food. "I think we should talk some more."

She closed her eyes. "Do we have to?"

"Well pretending this isn't happening won't make it stop." She huffed as he continued, "I understand that this is all terrifyingly sudden-even more so for you-but would you really not love this child?"

She looked away from him, back to the people passing by and unaware she was watching. "They're bigger than I am," she murmured.

He looked at her middle and then at the passersby. "Their species probably has a

shorter gestation."

"They look like they're all six months in."

"So do you."

She frowned and looked at her bump. "I look hardly look over twenty weeks."

"For a Gallifreyan, you look six months."

"Just how long is this supposed to last?"

"Without the acceleration? An Earth year," he informed. She swallowed. "On the plus side, you'll probably get an extra hour before labor."

"Oh, gee, that's a huge comfort," she bit at him.

"Yeah, sorry for letting you be better informed about what's happening to your body," he said sarcastically. She tensed and he sighed again. "Sorry."

"No… it's alright. You're right. I'm being snappish," she muttered.

"You have every reason to be."

"But I shouldn't take it out on you. You don't deserve this. You're going through this, too… ish. You're about to be a father. Again."

"Feels like the first time," he said quietly, scooting closer to her.

"Are you not scared? How can you be so… so ready?" She looked at him like he might have all the answers she needed.

He smiled softly in return, taking her hand. "I'm actually quite nervous."

She didn't look like she believed him. He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles, keeping her hand against his face. He could see that she was calming now, allowing herself to let her knee-jerk anger at the situation fall away and be replaced with the worry it was hiding.

"You didn't need my panicking on top of all this," he continued, "and at the moment it really is easier to let myself be happy than to let my own fears get in the way. I know there will be plenty of that in the future."

She put her head down on his shoulder, emotionally exhausted. "So what you're saying is that you have a magic power that allows you to separate your feelings and not feel them all at once."

"Not magic, my dear, just a skill that comes with age."

She let out a breath. "Doctor, I'm nearly two hundred years old. If I don't have that skill, a man-child like you shouldn't either."

" _Oi_ , I'm not a man-child. I can be very mature."

"You're going to have to be," she whispered. He squeezed her hand. "...I just feel so defenseless to this… and honestly a little pathetic."

"You're not pathetic," he corrected.

"How is running off to hide in the woods not pathetic?"

"Because it's not." He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. "It was what you needed to do to cool off. No one is patronizing you for that."

She looked up at him and searched his face. He wasn't sure what for but smiled weakly nonetheless.

"Just try to be in the present for now, yeah? All those worries about how this is going to work between us, how we're going to care for this child, it doesn't matter now. In this moment, you and I are here. You're growing this baby and all you need to do is take care of yourself and get through today."

She nodded, resting her hand over her middle. After a moment she gasped.

He looked worried. "River?"

She stared up at him. "...It kicked."

He moved his hand to where hers was, waiting a moment before a light fluttering occurred under his touch. "That's… wow."

She bit her lip. "It feels weird."

"Weird?" he questioned.

"Have you ever had a living thing moving inside you?"

"Em, no. I can't say I have."

"Then "weird" is the most description you're going to get. It's like all the food I ate is wiggling." She kept her hand on her belly, feeling the short, light movements of the growing child.

The Doctor watched her, seeing her eyebrows furring in concentration as she focused on what she was feeling. "...Penny for your thoughts?"

She exhaled slowly, "I'm not really thinking anything very interesting."

"A shilling then," he insisted.

She let out a quick, amused snort of air through her nose. " _Outdated_ currency, sweetie, but if you must know, I'm trying to remember when babies are supposed to develop their hearing."

He hummed, "For Gallifreyans, 22 weeks."

"So it can hear us?" She looked curiously at him.

"Well, I suppose it can. Maybe not me because of my proximity, but you. Probably. Can't understand us, though."

She nodded slowly, letting her eyes stray somewhere over his shoulder. "I don't really know anything about babies."

"They're not that complicated for a while. You mostly just feed them and change their nappies."

"I don't…" she hesitated, her uncertainty showing again, "I don't want that. I don't want to be-be some stay-at-home mother who just cares for the baby. I respect women who can do that, I _really_ do, but... _I_ can't."

"Do you think I won't be there to help?"

She sighed, "You and I, we don't like staying still for long, do we?"

"I never had a good enough reason before," he murmured.

She tensed. "It may be reason enough, for you, Doctor, but I don't think it's reason enough for me."

"Then leave it with me."

She started at him. "The baby?"

He nodded. "I'm not trying to pin you down, Riv. I would never want to purposely put you in a situation that made you unhappy. If you don't want to stay with the baby, I'll take care of it. I'll do the nappy changing and the feeding and all that "stay-at-home parent stuff"."

"You'd do that… for me?"

"Of course, you're my wife. And it is my baby, too after all."

"How can you just let me go? How can you be so sure I'll come back?"

"I can't," he said softly, "But I'm almost sure you can't stay away from me." She batted his arm, though was clearly getting a bit emotional. "I have a feeling that even if you don't necessarily want to raise this baby, you might still want to be part of its life in some way or another."

She nodded slowly. "...Thank you."

They sat there in each other's arms for a little while longer before River's stomach growled again.

He glanced at her. "Shall we make another trip to the food court?"

She nodded. "Yes, please."

-x-

They ate at the food courts for a short while until River decided she'd actually rather eat in the privacy of their tent, so they took their haul back there.

Many of the other couples and groups appeared to be returning to their tents as well. River wondered if the birthing process was also meant to be a group activity at this fertility festival. She was suddenly quite glad they'd gotten a private tent, though for different reasons than the Doctor had been.

"Are there doctors here?" she asked the Doctor when they'd settled to eat again behind the safety of the cotton canvas walls of their tent.

"I'm a doctor," he pointed out.

"You're not _that_ kind of doctor," she reminded, "I didn't see any..."

"Worried?"

"Well, in case you've forgotten, humans often prefer the assistance of a medically trained person when they give birth," she reminded.

"You're not a human."

"And you're not a doctor," she huffed, "Are we supposed to just figure this out on our own?"

"Well, I don't suppose it's that difficult. You push, I catch-"

"No. You are _not_ delivering this baby," she interrupted quickly.

"You don't exactly have another option," he reminded patiently.

She hesitated, though knew he was right. "Then _I'll_ do it."

"River, you can't be serious," he gaped at her.

"I _am_ serious," she retorted.

"You were just telling me earlier how you knew nothing about babies. What makes you think you're more qualified to do this than I am?"

"It's not about bloody _qualification_ , it's about the fact that I can actually feel what's going on inside me and you can't."

"I can still be helpful," he stressed, knowing there was more reason than that, "I'm not leaving you."

She looked a little disappointed at that, thought quickly smothered that feeling with a nod. "Fine. I'm going to need someone's hand to crush, might as well be yours."

He stayed silent at her defensive jeer, knowing very well that she'd rather be able to hide her discomposure and deal with it on her own. He, however, was determined to stay with her through this. It was his child and his wife, and he'd be fatuous to leave them, even if he couldn't necessarily be helpful. Part of him had to believe she needed him there.

"Why aren't there any doctors here?" she asked again quietly to herself.

This, the Doctor did take the liberty of answering. "Most people here are Kwerbian, their births are smooth and painless. It's almost unheard of to have a birth complication with them and they don't actually bond with their offspring until they're about a week old, so they don't have as much emotional distraught if something _does_ happen. They'll just go to the next festival."

"They should at least have the courtesy of having present doctors for all of their guests of off-world origin."

"You ought to write the head organizer a letter," he murmured, though knew she wouldn't seeing as it wouldn't actually help her current mess of a situation. That, and the likelihood of her returning to this place again was a zero.

"Maybe," she hummed absentmindedly.

"In the meantime, perhaps we should get ready."

At her silence, he started rummaging around in his pockets. She watched as he pulled out his sonic, psychic paper, a yo-yo, a pair of children's scissors, a dish towel, a trowel, a box of matches, and a number of palm-sized trinkets that she couldn't be bothered with remembering the name of. After that, she stopped paying attention to that he was taking out of his pockets.

"Are those supposed to be things we need?" she asked blankly.

"They can be with a little creativity."

She looked more unsure about that. "This _isn't_ something that the phrase "wing it" applies to."

"We're not winging it," he said calmly, "These really _can_ be useful. See the string from the yo-yo can be tied around the chord when we need to cut it and the scissors can do the cutting." He stopped when he noted her expression of burden. "What's wrong."

"Just trying not to think about the fact that I'm God knows how long away from giving birth to your child and we're stuck on an alien planet, dreadfully unprepared."

"Maybe we ought to try to get back to the TARDIS," he suggested.

"I tried that when I left before, but they won't let me leave until this is all over so they can get a head tally of how many babies were born here. Something about research and annual statistics."

"Oh," he acknowledged quietly, "Is there anything I can do to help take your mind off things?"

Her eyebrow twitched with the brief consideration of the sordid things she could've replied with, but instead sighed hollowly. "I'm not sure. Hand me one of those... things." She pointed to one of the trinkets.

It was a silver novelty puzzle, one where the goal was to try to untangle an impossible mess of metal shapes. He handed it to her, and she began to fidget with it, spinning one of the circular components slowly with her thumb.

It seemed to be providing something focus on, so he started talking about where he'd gotten the toy. He knew she wasn't really listening to his story, but she was at the very least not telling him to shut it; he figured his auditory distraction was welcomed as well.

They spent some while like this, talking without actually talking. It was mostly him rambling which was his strong suit, and for the time being, it was making him feel useful.

"How long has it been since…?" River asked after a while. She'd by that point moved her hands to rest on her now large middle.

He found a pocket watch in the pile of things he'd earlier removed from his pockets and checked. "Almost... eight hours. Why?"

"Starting to ache a bit," she whispered.

"Do you think it's starting?"

"No, it might just be from the growing." She didn't need to explain that. He knew that the rapid growth rate wasn't meant to be pleasant, but he was a bit surprised she hadn't complained earlier. "And," she added, "I haven't heard any other babies come yet, and supposedly I'm supposed to be after everyone else."

"Well, you won't hear any yelling when other people are delivering. You'll hear-" On cue, a frail crying of a baby came from somewhere to the right, outside of their tent. "-that."

River swallowed, the sound making her uneasy. This was both because it signaled that her labor would probably start within the hour, and it was a reminder of how much she didn't want to be in this situation.

So much for distractions.

"Will the labor also be sped up or do I get to "relish" the full experience of that?"

"I don't know," he admitted.

She closed her eyes. "Will you take a look around and see if you can find some real supplies? Maybe you can make it to the TARDIS and grab some things."

"I don't want to leave you."

"Doctor, please," she insisted. "Just… go and see."

He was still hesitant but could see that River wanted to be alone for whatever reason. He nodded slowly. "I'll be back soon."

-x-

In all, it took him maybe forty minutes-or rather he made sure to take more time for the sake of River having time to herself. (That, and it took the officials a little convincing to let him leave before all the births had been accounted for).

He carried a lot of towels with him on his return trip, along with a number of other very professional looking tools in a bag. He paused outside one of the tents, curious to why it sounded like many more babies had arrived than when he'd left. He knew of course that it was probably because more babies _had_ in fact been born, but just to be sure (and to sate his curiosity about how this was all supposed to go if one was doing it the traditional Kwerbian way) he peeked inside the tent.

He was greeted by an eyeful of naked people. More than an eyeful actually, but on the bright side, none of the naked people were doing any sort of shenanigans he wouldn't want to intrude on like before, though why the non-pregnant ones chose to still be naked was beyond him.

Now, as it were, the going ons of the naked people were centered around the fact that most of them had just finished giving birth. (Still not the most tasteful of things to observe in the Doctor's opinion).

He noticed only about a fourth or so of the naked people was as still squatting and leaning on their partners. They were very quiet aside from the newly born babies who were crying to no end-out of place only if one associated birth with a lot of screaming-and it seemed that the actual pushing part of their labor lasted for no more than a few minutes.

Unfortunately, River was not a Kwerbian, and would not have any ease to her labor like these people did. It occurred to the Doctor that since he saw most of these people already finished and holding their babies, that River was probably well on her way to that part as well. He quickly turned around and headed back to his own tent.

River had moved onto the bed when he returned, taking deep breaths. The Doctor put the supplies down and sat tentatively on the edge of the bed, quietly offering her his hand. It took her a moment, but she took it until her breathing evened out.

"So it's started then?" he asked.

"Obviously," she retorted.

"Have your waters broken?"

She nodded. "A few minutes ago. What took you so long?"

"Taking a look at the local scenery," he murmured, but at her expression, clarified, "I wanted to see what was going on inside the other tents."

She almost smiled at that. " _You_ wanted to see a bunch of naked people having babies?"

"No, well, yes-sort of- I wanted to see if they did things... differently. Cultural comparison."

"So it was for the sake of knowledge?" she pointed out amusedly.

"Yes." His cheeks were a bit pink now. "For the sake of knowledge. How's the pain?" He changed the subject.

"It's bearable. They're close, but they just feel like horrid indigestion." She gave his hand a squeeze, not out of pain but out of appreciation for his presence.

This didn't go by unnoticed by him. "I would think you'd have wanted me to stay away a bit longer."

"What gave you that idea?" she asked as if she didn't already know.

"I know you, River. You don't like it when other people see you in any state less than battle-ready."

She said nothing for a moment, hand absently brushing over her middle. "Well, perhaps I've changed my mind about whom I'm alright with being around when I'm not."

He smiled weakly and she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment as her abdomen tightened. He frowned. "Another? Already?"

She nodded muttering a quick curse before the pain passed again.

"I suppose that answers the question of how fast this will go."

"So you think it'll be sped up?" she asked a tad breathlessly. He nodded, though the action made her feel more dread than ease.

Her expression wasn't unnoticed. "Don't think about everything that comes next, just focus on the now, yeah?" her husband urged.

"Easier said than done." She bristled slightly.

He wondered for a moment if he ought to talk again to distract her some more, but decided against it. He had a feeling it was too coddling. Instead, he just smiled in confidence with her abilities and said, "You've always liked a challenge."

The corner of her mouth twitched and she nodded slightly. "I suppose I did."

"Have you felt the urge to push yet?"

"I've only been at this an hour. This may be going fast but not _that_ fast."

"Right. Just wondering when we should… get ready."

"Not yet," she whispered. He wasn't sure if she was saying this out of truth or out of denial. Either way, he remained seated.

River suffered through a few more contractions in relative quiet. They were strong enough to make her body tense and face contort, but not enough to elicit any noise from her. Or perhaps she was just being stubborn about that. For now, it was just her heavy breathing and babies crying in the distance (which could be noted as another factor to her tension).

Eventually, they did start another bit of conversation, but unlike before, River did as much talking as the Doctor. She was nervous, he could tell, but he made no comment on it. She was trying quite hard to try to be okay, trying to let him stay and not push him away (metaphorically and literally), so it was his acknowledgment of that to not acknowledge it at all. She didn't appreciate when he pointed these things out.

They were talking about the next planet over called Tulewe, something about an ancient war and a dig she'd been on a few years back. He was glad she was at least speaking, provided her words were periodically interrupted by the increasingly stronger contractions and her need to focus on breathing.

He hadn't really been bothered with paying a great deal of attention to her story, paying more notice to her hands, which were rested atop her very round middle, fidgeting with the fabric of her coat and trying not to rest long over anywhere where the baby was moving.

Another contraction and he watched her hand move to clutch at the epicenter of the pain, which happened to be just below where her navel was. He counted her sudden intakes of breath- which, had he not known the cause of, he would've mistaken for an oncoming panic attack. (Not that he'd witnessed many of those on River.)

In-out, in-out, in-out, in. Instead of a fourth exhale he heard nothing and looked to see that she'd started to hold her breath. It was making her face become awfully pink.

"Stop holding your breath," he said instinctively.

She glared at him hard, a look that has been known to kill, and didn't release her breath for another number of seconds. At first, he thought she'd listened to him, then realized it was only because the pain was dulling.

The exhale was long but loud and she continued to breathe like that as she said dangerously, "Do _not_ tell me how to breathe when it's your bloody child trying to make me shit myself."

His hands twitched by his sides. "That was a big one."

"Hadn't noticed, sweetie."

"I just mean that maybe we should get ready now."

She said nothing, letting her breathing even out. Her cheeks were still flush, and she was trying not to have heard him suggest that. "So the dig in Tulewe, we had just found the tomb…"

The Doctor sighed as she continued to tell her story. He wanted to let her do this her way and not crowd her, but he knew at this point she wasn't listening to her body and was just trying to stall as if it was just some indigestion that would pass on its own. Granted, her body would make sure the baby was delivered whether she decided to push with the contractions or not, but her lack of action wasn't healthy for either of them.

The pains were getting closer and her face redder each time they came. She was trying desperately not to groan and kept insisting that they weren't strong enough to warrant pushing yet, but it was more obvious than she knew that she _was_ pushing instinctively at least a bit with the contractions.

After another hour and continuation of denial and lack of proper breathing which _would help with managing the pain, honestly, River, breathe,_ he saw- or rather heard- one of her walls crack.

He'd seen the expression and heard the noise a few times before. Once, they'd been running from something, they always were. It'd been his fault, he'd insulted a king -maybe a chief, possibly emperor of something. The threat of beheading had been so quick that he didn't even think about running so River had grabbed his hand and done the thinking for him.

They were running and they had almost been out of the city when he'd heard someone shout, "take aim!" and he'd stopped running stupidly enough even though River was immediately scolding him and trying to get him to move. He was looking up wide-eyed at the sky that was suddenly full of released arrows and without warning River pushed him down to the ground and threw herself over him, shielding him.

When the arrows came down, he was untouched. River was not.

It was not a scream, not even a shout. Now, and back then, it had been a visible progression as her brain worked out just what was happening to cause such sudden, severe pain. Her mouth opened as if preparing for the anticipated scream. Adrenalin rushed but shock would not allow the breath to pass out of her lungs. He watched her expression switch indecisively between agony and distress. Her lower lip trembled just slightly and a whimper escaped her. A near surrender to the pain.

Back then, it really was a surrender and she'd shortly after passed out. Now, the noise caused him to force his hand into hers and hold it tightly. " _River_." His voice was quite serious now, no longer meekly suggesting to breathe like before.

She looked at him with the same fear he'd looked at her with before she'd taken the arrows, very nearly whimpering again but giving into heavy panting instead.

"It's time." His words weren't a question or a suggestion. It was a command-like insistence that she now got in a comfortable position for pushing.

She looked like a deer caught in a headlight, wide-eyed and unmoving. He took her other hand and silently instructed her to lie down on her back. Her jaw was tight against her disquiet.

He released her hands. "Bend your legs."

She did, feeling rather exposed doing so. Granted they were alone in the tent and she still had her coat on her top half - which was getting quite hot to wear - but there was something in the way he was prodding at her that definitely was not as sexy as it was that morning for very obvious reasons. "Are you sure you know what you're doing down there?"

He half-heartedly nodded to her. "You can push now." He didn't open his mouth to tell her whatever information he'd gathered from the poking and prodding, either because she hadn't asked or because he knew she hadn't asked for a good reason. Regardless of her reasons, she still found herself mildly annoyed at him for seeming so stable through all this.

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on what was physically happening since she'd been trying very hard to ignore it for the past couple hours. It'd just been _I don't want to do this_ and _sod, this hurts._ She still thought these things, but now paused to try to pick out all the other things she was feeling.

She was familiar with the back pain that indicated the start of a contraction and the sizable up well of abdominal pain that followed, but over the last half hour, there'd been a something lower. A mix of what she could only describe as stretching and pressure in a very uncomfortable sense of the words. She had a reasonable guess that it was the baby's head descending. Perhaps that was what the Doctor had felt.

Her back twinged and she braced herself as her muscles clenched. She groaned and the Doctor was telling her to push so she tucked her chin down to her chest and grabbed her knees and tried to- _shit!_

That was definitely the baby's head, pushing resiliently against parts of her she was previously sure she didn't have but apparently did, and maybe not for much longer if this damned parasite didn't get out of her!

She dropped her head back against the mattress when the contraction released her, panting, face red, and looking quite miserable. It had been only one push and already she wanted just bypass that part and cut it out of her instead. She was sure that would hurt less.

"Here," the Doctor said gently before moving her leg to have her foot braced against his shoulder. She moved her hands to hold on to her elevated knee. "Better?"

"Not really," she replied bitterly but had to admit that this position opened up her hips to provide a little more room.

He watched his wife's face contort again and encouraged her as best he knew how, though still got a number of obscenities directed at him. He told himself it was just the pain talking, though felt a pang of guilt at that. He had smelled something wrong with the pheromones when they'd been first introduced to the air, and maybe if he'd stopped to figure it out, or read the pamphlet more thoroughly, River wouldn't be in so much pain now.

He knew that if they'd agreed to a have a child under normal circumstances stances, she'd be ready. She'd have pain killers and she'd be ready for this, ready to bear life. Not that she would ever agree to it. As it were, the task had been forced on her and rather than determined, she looked… Almost helpless, though he'd never say that out loud to her.

He reached to help her take her coat off when the next pain eased up. She grabbed his wrists. "What are you doing?"

"You're sweating bullets, Riv, you can't tell me that you're not overheated in that thing."

She snorted in irritation because he was right and released his wrist, allowing him to help her remove her coat. She was left only what she was wearing earlier: her stockings. Her bra and knickers had never been put back on after she'd taken them off this morning. There were some things she found rather ridiculous, even by her skewed standards, and giving birth in nothing but lacy stockings was one of them.

Whatever River's embarrassment, the Doctor said nothing and told her to push. Her face scrunched up as she did so. He could've sworn he heard someone talking in a worried tone outside the tent. The people here weren't accustomed to pain and shouting during birth.

As the pushing went on, he was worried that one of them might walk in on them to see if something was wrong. The last thing River wanted was an audience. "Keep pushing, River, you're almost there."

"I-" she panted hard, "Sodding. Hate. You."

"You'll hate me a bit less once this is over."

She groaned loudly without as much shame as before because "over" sounded absolutely bloody wonderful. She fell back again. "How "almost there" are we talking?"

"Well, its head will be out in a few pushes. Do you want to feel it?"

"No!" she said quickly and firmly. The list of things she wanted to feel down there did not include a baby's head. _Her_ baby's head… what a strange thought.

Thoughts themselves were getting quite hard to think unless they were, "fuck you", "fuck this," or "this fucking hurts." Most of these thoughts were voiced out loud with other profanities and general noises one made when pushing a Human-Gallifreyan baby out of a very small place.

This child would be dangerous. They both knew this. Whether it could be dangerous because of its parents or because half the universe would want a piece of it was debatable, but River was sure that dangerous would be an accurate description. She could see the child walking among Daleks, shooting at Cybermen, taunting Sontarans, and strangely enough, she felt a little afraid at these images. Not that she herself was afraid of any of those creatures, but the child wouldn't be safe. Children can't run or fight all that well, it would need protecting. Her protection perhaps.

"Okay, head's out," the Doctor informed with a voice as unsure as a boy walking into the wrong lecture hall. "Everything's fine, I think."

"You _think_?" She echoed stingingly.

"I'm not an obstetrician, River."

"Don't sodding remind me."

He looked a little offended but pressed on, "I'd say two more pushes ought to do it, but they've got to be big ones, yeah?"

It actually took one push for the baby to fully escape its previous confines. One enormous push that had River red-faced and screaming because, sod it, this needed to be over _now_.

River gasped for air as the contraction released her body, letting her head loll to the side. Somewhere by her feet, an infant was crying.

She couldn't be bothered to open her eyes, though could feel the Doctor moving around and doing what was probably cutting the cord and wrapping the baby up in towels. She could hear him making soft shushing sounds to calm it. He sounded so at ease with the baby, though they'd only just met. An hour ago it would've annoyed her but at the moment it just had lumps forming in her throat.

She opened her eyes, looking up at the Doctor who was smiling softly and whispering things to the bundle of towels in his arms. He'd put her leg back down on the mattress at this point, though her both legs were still propped up and spread. He met River's wide eyes with a steady gaze, then, slowly, put the whimpering child down on her bare chest.

Nervously, River sat herself up a bit and held her baby with the gentleness of an archaeologist holding an artifact. She examined it with the same scrutiny as well. It looked so much like the Doctor and if she tried she could pick out features from every one of his faces.

"Doctor," she whispered, "I don't… I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"You don't have to," he murmured patiently, "What you're doing now is perfect. Leave the rest to me."

She started at him and he started back with trust and assurance enough that she started to relax. Maybe she would stay with him for a few weeks, just to make sure he and the baby got settled.

"You did wonderfully, by the way."

"I gave you hell and you know it."

He chuckled. "Well, maybe I deserved it a little."

She rolled her eyes, finding that the lump in her throat was only growing. It was really impossible for her to tell why exactly she felt like crying. She wasn't sure if was was happy or scared or relieved. Maybe some mixture of the above.

What she did know was that a word that she never thought would apply to her now did: Mother. She was a mother and her stupid, bow-tie wearing husband a father, which she supposed made them a family. Not that they weren't a family before, but this was a much different kind of family than she expected she would ever have.

"You didn't deserve it," she eventually replied. "You deserve _this_." She nodded to their child who was now falling asleep in her arms.

"You think so?"

She nodded. They both knew that this change wasn't anything small. They knew they were now connected on an entirely new level, and River would always come back, no matter how long she stayed away, no matter how afraid she currently was.

"Yeah. I do."


End file.
